John Blumenthal has collected 35 Classic One-liners About Aging. Humor of course is a personal thing. What one person finds hilarious, another may find blah. Some of his classics should certainly not be repeated. However here is my selection of the 12 best classic one-liners on aging from his post.
8 Classic One-liners On Aging From His List
- You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
- Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. Author Unknown
- I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen
- There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer
- You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.” Jerry Seinfeld
- There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P.G. Wodehouse
- It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
- So far, this is the oldest I’ve been. George Carlin
4 Classic One-liners on Aging Added By Readers
- Getting old is terrible, until you consider the alternative.
- Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the h*** happened. – Terry Pratchet
- If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
- I want to live forever, or die trying!
Let’s Hear Your Favorite Classic One-liner on Aging
Whether or not you found this collection was funny, why not add your favorite in the Comments. Or you could nominate your choice of the best (or the worst) in the lists above.